So, I ventured over to the fancy Giant Eagle in Shady Side.. with its fancy people, fancy elevators, fancy ethnic foods, fancy cheeses and fancy carts (well, a self locking cart isn't tooo fancy, I guess) because I wanted to get stuff from their olive bar (I love my friends too much to let them eat anything off South Side Giant Eagle's olive bar.. well honestly, I love myself too much for that). So I gathered my things including olives off the olive bar which I must say was fantastic because I openly ate olives while I filled my container not feeling guilty one bit. I also felt that this made up for the fact they were out of my milk, Silk plain light soy milk. Seriously, how many people do you know that are lactose intolerant??? Drinking soy milk isn't a trend, people. Leave it for the ones who really need it you fricking hippies. (done ranting)
When done shopping, I pushed my cart to my prime parking spot (not in the fancy garage). There was an empty prime parking spot right beside me that some woman in a van wanted. Although I was clearly busy with the door swung open and the cart there, I'm nice so I decided I'd move... well the cart that worked 2 minutes (not even) before refused to move. "Hmm," I thought. I pushed again to no avail. I became immediately angry flailing the cart all over in an attempt to get it to move. Pushing forward pulling back.. all with a scowl on my face.
I threw my arms up in the air saying perhaps loudly enough for the woman to hear, "What they hell do you want me to do, lady?!" as I continually pushed and shoved the cart with wheels that no longer turned. After what seemed like 5 minutes of this (which it may have been seeing how I kept throwing my arms in the air shooting glares at the woman as the man in the car behind him slapped his knee in delight) I pushed the cart far enough away that the woman could park in her spot. What I didn't realize is that I had drawn a crowd of people laughing at my misfortune. I couldn't help but laugh myself... once the woman exited her car from her prime parking spot that I had provided her by sacrificing my own sweat, blood and tears to get (slight exaggeration), she apologized (yes, she probably heard me cursing at her) and I assured her it wasn't her fault but that darn cart's fault! The crowd of people laughing at me continued to watch. When I finished putting my bags away, I again attempted to push the cart into the cart holder hicky ma doodle. No luck. Some stranger started howling, "The wheels are locked!! You know what you do when that happens! You tilt it back and you just drag it!" "You've done this before, I see... I bet you stole many a shopping carts in your days didn't you?" I thought with a kind smile on my face. Some other young woman offered to do it for me while a few other strangers chuckled. "I'm so f'ing glad you all are enjoying this," I thought. I thanked the woman and went on my way but I'm still left wondering... why the hell did the wheels of my cart lock IN the parking lot. No, seriously? I'm calling Giant Eagle to complain.
