Things I've learned through 25 years of experience.

A cluttered space leads to a cluttered mind.
Sweating makes you feel good.
Not everyone will like you and that's okay.
Sometimes you have to be selfish and do what's best for you.
Reading does make you smarter.
What those who love you think matters more than those who don't.
What you're passionate about may pay peanuts and yes, that sucks (but @ least you're doing what you love).
Take criticism and learn from it.
You're never too old to call mom when you're upset.
People remember the nice things you do even if they don't tell you that.
Make time for friends.
Life is a learning process.... there's no regrets just growth.

My 11 Commandments

1. Prioritize and conquer.
2. Remember your Ps and Qs.
3. Enjoy the sun.
4. Really listen when people are speaking.  Especially if you love them.
5. Do it now.  Not later.
6. Moisturize every single day at least once.
7. Be yourself.
8. Don't sweat small things.
9. Appreciate everything.
10. Do one nice thing everyday.
11. Love who you are.

Love, the most complicated thing in the world

The love of your life.

The man of your dreams.

Your one and only.

Your soul mate.

Your true love.

So often people throw these phrases around but I think until you've really fallen in love like for real for real in love in love with the person your destined to be with, you just don't understand.  Sounds funny right, coming from a 25 year-old.  I laugh when I hear myself saying such corny things to be honest....  You would think that if love is so meant to be... it wouldn't be so hard to make happen.  

I met the man of my dreams in March of 2006. On spring break.  I kid you not.  Sounds like one of those love at first sight moments... I've been drinking since I woke up at 11a.m. dressed in the clothes I wore the night before complete with spilled liquor on my shirt, I don't remember when the last time I ate was I think it was a hotdog two days ago?? and anti-sunscreen me has a severe sunburn.  Instead of hearing birds chirping in the background, I heard people screaming "Woo," "Yeah," and "Chug it!"  The epitome of romantic, trust me, I know. 

The moment I caught said man checking out my butt, I knew he was special.  I don't remember our first words or pretty much anything we discussed those next few days that we hung out (alcohol may have been involved...) but I remember liking this boy A LOT.  

He's even comparable to my knight in shining armor having saved me from potential danger when I insisted on stumbling back the two miles to my hotel BY MYSELF to ensure my besty was still alive.  I really thought all 100 pounds of me could fight off anything, rapist, murder or even a rabid dog.  I still think like this btw. A true gentlemen by anyone's standards.  

It's funny though, who would have thunk that anything could come of a crush from spring break.  The day that I left Ft. Lauderdale, I was overwhelmed with sadness.  A weird sadness.  I only met this strange boy two days earlier but I was really sad to say a goodbye forever.  He didn't want to hug me goodbye and I became pretty upset until he explained, "I hate saying goodbye."  I took that as a sign that he was feeling slightly sad too....  After returning to PA, Florida boy and I became pretty close friends trough facebook, IM, and eventually the phone.  Thank you technology!

It was kind of a miracle when he had a job interview in Ohio and was able drive to PA and see me in person (330 some days later).  It was even a nicer and a bigger miracle when Florida boy became Ohio boy and I then moved to Pittsburgh (the west side of PA) to earn my Masters.  Our relationship was moving forward from 20 hours to 6 hours to 4!

But it stopped.  Somehow between the years of 2006 and 2007, we managed to cut our distance five times... since then, well we haven't.  

I find this frustrating.  

Maybe I'm partially to blame.  I'm a fond believer in all those annoying sayings people like to say when you're upset: Everything happens for a reason, If it's meant to be, it'll be, etc.  I find these sayings to be inhibitors. They make it okay to give up because it's out of your control.. so you stop trying quite so hard... maybe that's my problem... I then find myself talking crazy, "Well maybe, maybe it's just not meant to be."  I usually know when to slap some sense back into myself, thank goodness.

I also believe in a supreme being who can fuck with you whenever He damn well pleases.  Thus my avid church going every single Sunday and the dollar bill I slip into the collection.  Alas, this has yet to be successful... Perhaps $20 will get better results?!

How long must two people go on proving their love for one another before something else good happens for them?  The hardest part is, I don't find myself loving this boy less each day because of the distance. Most of the time at least.  4 hours is a super long drive.  And, I hate hate hate driving.  Rather each day, he says something or does something or even just makes a stupid noise that makes me love him so much more.  Every time I learn something new about him, I find another reason to keep him as my own.  

Because I do believe in God, please let Him know that you too think Matthew and I should be together.  Or hey, if you know of a place in Pittsburgh looking for a handsome engineer or even just an engineer.. let him know!

These are a few of my least favorite things

When I get on the bus first thing in the morning, the last thing I want to do is talk to someone.  I'm confused why not everyone feels this way.  There are these people, these people who build relationoships with others on the bus so that each day then can be like, "Hey, how was your night?!" and gab about their boring evening of spaghettia and American Idol the entire way downtown.  Do you really care about what they ate last night or how many hours of television they watched, really? Granted, it's only like a 1.5 mile ride, but still... have you no courtesy for your fellow bus riders?? To you people, please stop.  Your conversations are so dry they make me gag.  Save discussing how you cooked wheat noodles as opposed to the typical white for the ride home.  Or even better yet, talk about something more interesting say... the girl fight you saw on the corner, or the man picking his nose in front of you.  Perhaps then, I would try to listen in on your converstation rather than turning the volume on my Ipod up so high, I can feel my eardrums popping.  

Other things I hate..... women who carry more than two bags with them to work.  In my opinion, even two is one too many but I guess some women find it necessary to have a messenger bag AND a purse.  But, a third bag... really.... is that necessary.  What could you possibly be carrying in that third bag that cannot touch the contents of the other two?  Perhaps, the idea of your potato salad spilling onto your shoes is gross.... but you can definatly fit that lunch pail inside one of the other bags.  I promise.  And, did I mention that these bags these women carry do not match??  They carry all these muli-colored, different patterned bags that bring to mind Joseph and his amazing coat.  They do not look good together, obviously.  I just got the greatest idea, invest in a larger bag!!  A bag that can carry everything (your lunch, shoes, books, papers, and heck... maybe even a pair of gym shorts!!)

Jessica Abel.... solving the world's problems one at a time.

The blood on the door of the stuck bus smells like cat pee.

Going on an all expense paid trip to D.C. to see all the sights with no lines in beautiful weather. OMG, sounds amazing, right?!?! Now, mix into that image, 80 very responsible and mature 16-year-olds. Riding on a bus for 4.5 hours with 38 of them as they each quietly read a book and walking from sight to sight with 19 of them as you have invigorating conversations about the history behind each monument and statue. Still, not too bad..... the majority of the last sentence was a lie.

Here are my favorite parts of this trip.

Day 1: Bloody massacre

I go out to wait for the bus at 5:15 am. With no one in sight, I stand there in my red raincoat and knee high brown boots. It dawns on me that I could totally pass as a hooker right now... No one offers money so I decide to keep my day job and chaperone the field trip. Day 1 runs smoothly regardless of the fact that I'm absolutely exhausted.

After touring downtown D.C., we finish the night with a trip to the bowling alley. I suck at bowling so I wasn't overwhelmed with anticipation of losing to my coworkers and having them make fun of all the gutter-balls I get but, the night went really well!!!!

Exhausted, I intend on crawling into bed as soon as I possibly can to help prepare me for the long teenager intense day ahead. The phone rings around 12:00. Ms. Erin, my roomie teacher answers.... "Blood everywhere... need brandades... room.... be right there." Hmmm.. she cut herself shaving cannot be that bad, right? ...We enter the hotel room. I was convinced someone was either shot or stabbed and the students lied. Towels saturated in blood, soak in a pool of pink water in the sink. The bathroom door has bloody fingerprints on it and when the injured student opens the door, there is blood spraying all the way down her leg from her thigh to her ankle. I hand her 12 bandages which she strategically places vertically onto the cut so that the sticky part is resting directly on the wound.. yet still there's not enough bandages to cover the whole wound... holy fudge! Good luck, I'm going back to bed. Don't even try to pull those bandages off because I'm not coming back when you scream in agony.

Day two: Cat peed in my bed

We walked to each of the memorials, ate at the post-office (I too easily convinced the students that I was paying for their lunch and that any change they received out of the $10 provided was to be returned to me... stupid conscience... I didn't take their moneys) and went to the American History Museum. A great afternoon! Return back to the hotel to prep ourselves for the dinner theater. YAY!

We have an hour to get ready which seems like such a long time so instead of getting ready, I and the roomie decide to watch television for 45 minutes. Bad idea. Lesson learned: Teenage girls never buy clothes that fit them... rather, they like to use safety-pins to pull together garments that otherwise would not cover their lady parts. Too bad I have no safety-pins and they're all knocking on my door non-stop as the other teachers continue screaming, "It's time to go, it's time to go"... whoops... just try to keep the girls hidden.... OMG, I need to get ready! In walks another student, gauze and medical tape all over her legs, she calmly says, "Miss Abel, I have a chemical burn. Do you have medical tape?" A chemical burn?!?! How does one get a chemical burn on their leg.... NAIR! I think that you girls should just give up on shaving and go all natural from here on out. I should just say no I don't have any because I'm not even close to ready and everyone is boarding the bus but I look through my snazzy first aid kit.. no medical tape. "Sorry."

We watch Hairspray which was everything the students and teachers wanted and more... great time!! Getting on the bus to leave I hear, "Miss Abel, you should be in a musical... you're so peppy... you're just like them... I could see you doing that." HAH! One thing you all didn't think about.... Miss Abel can't sing.... Student besides me says something... and I hear her say, "Miss Abel's on meds." What?! You can't say that! Stupid me I quickly respond, "Did you say I'm on meds?!?!" Instantaneous laughing erupts followed by accusations of me being drunk. "I said you's a mess!!!" Boss is sitting two seats in front of me... so you don't think I'm ready to be promoted.. that's a surprise...

When we return to the hotel I'm so tired I'm delusional and can barely stand. Must get sleep, NOW! Crawl into bed and manage to pass out by 12:30 (after handing out all the Tylenol provided and having a hotel scavenger hunt for feminine products). @ 1:10 the phone rings. I answer to hear faint giggling on the other end but no words. I don't exactly remember what I yelled but I know I was angry. Hopefully no cursing was involved. @ 1:26 the phone rings again... I answer to hear mumbling... ".. a cat... pee... smells... won't work.... no sleep." Wait wait, start over. "It smells like the house lady brought Fluffy with her to work, let her run around and pee everywhere and now I can't sleep because of the smell." Shoot, I did hear that right.... thought I was making it up. My response, "Honey, (interject very sweet words so when giving bad news doesn't come off as harsh) there's nothing I can do. I have no other place for you to sleep so you're just going to have to find a way to sleep there. I don't know what else to tell you......."

Day 3 What can go wrong, will go wrong

Moodiness is at it's peak. No sleep means I'm miserable... I get on the bus and the kids instantly notice I'm not my normal 'perky' self. ".. Miss A, what's wrong? You okay? You mad? What's wrong?..." tired. need. sleep. stop. talking.

Bus 2 is broken.

The kids handle the bus thing so well! I'm really impressed by the little complaining they are transmitting from their normally whiny mouths. We visit National Cemetery and ride Bus 1 back to hotel to eat lunch and get on a new bus that's on its way to rescue us. "Miss A, the bus is stuck! It's stuck! Look its wheels are spinning!! It's stuck." "No it's not...." I look, crap it is.. are you serious... there's no way... not even possible. The bus got stuck on the curb leaving the parking lot. 45 minutes later the bus is unstucked by some friendly construction workers with boards. Thanks to technology, the students riding Bus 1 who are still in Arlington hear of the news before the staff does....

Arrive in Pittsburgh, PA @ 7:00 pm. Students all leave downtown and the only thing that remains is an unclaimed pair of white boxers sitting all alone on the sidewalk directly in front of the Benedum Center. Although I'm unsure if they were dropped by one of my students or some strange man with a weird fetish... I picked them up with my bare hands and moved them myself. Your welcome.

Too Big a Mouth for such Small Muscles

Ever notice how the smallest dogs are constantly yipping at everything? Things moving in the wind, people walking across the street and of course other dogs, especially those much bigger than them.

I think these same qualities of the little dogs are found in humans. Being just under 5' tall this is my excuse for always providing my opinion even when it isn't invited.

I like to believe that my opinion is superior to most (HA so typical... have you ever met a person who DOESN'T think their opinion trumps all others?). I also attest that I am the Robin Hood of words. I stand up for the little guy, the right, the deserving, the attacked, the emotionally abused, the innocent.

However, as right as I am... I am becoming concerned that I need to just shut the f*ck up. I came to this realization this week when reflecting on two separate experiences.

Two Sundays ago, I was leaving a church in South Side. The roads were treacherous, cars couldn't move and everyone was holding onto one another to avoid dying in a fall. An older gentlemen, on his way back to his car parked illegally in a one way street, was confronted by two punks in a car behind him. All of us, children included have just poured out of the church at 11:45 am when these "punks," started honking their horn, swearing at the man, threatening to call the cops on him, etc. Annoyed by their disregard of the little virgin ears all around and accustomed to telling people what to do (I'm a teacher..), I told the boys, "Stop swearing." At this of course, I became the victim of the verbal assault as they started telling me to F the F and F this and F that and F F F F. (Fill in the Fs with the actual swear word). Frustrated I just walked away. Should have kept my mouth shut, huh?

This past Monday, I was waiting for the bus downtown pretty late in the evening (and by late I mean 7). Tired and cold, I and several other people waited for the busses to return from their smoke break for half an hour. A man, who happens to be cross-eyed, was standing in the alley watching for his bus to come (I'm going to go off a limb here but I bet he doesn't have 20/20 vision). There was no sign of traffic being so late in the evening and his vision was sufficient enough to be able to determine at what point a car was heading straight for him. In other words, this man was hurting NOTHING. Another man, standing on the sidewalk, shouted to the older gentleman standing on the alley, "Get off the f*cking road! We're all waiting for our busses and you don't see us standing on the road!" Annoyed by the man who was just instigating, I said aloud, "He's not hurting anyone. Didn't we all learn in kindygarden that if their not hurting someone, let 'em alone." I meant for this just to make myself feel better and not be heard by anyone (I know you're thinking why did you say it out loud then... I don't know the answer to that) but of course a guy standing next to me took this as an opportunity to converse with me. Should have kept my mouth shut.

One day, I'm going to get shot and these muscles sure ain't big enough to handle that sh*t.